Thursday, August 16, 2012

Lady Got Tattoo on Her Butthole, New Naked Swimming club and visually impaired needs audio version of fifty shades of grey

LOL-Ottawa bureaucrat honoured for his terrible prose
Why-Mum gives all her 15 children the same name – Walter
Nice-Romantic flash mob wedding proposal leaves woman stunned (video)
What Happen-Tourist spotted on x-ray after falling asleep on conveyor belt?
Mass skinny-dip at summer festival launches 'Secret Swimming' club
OMG-A Nice Lady from Florida Got a Tattoo on Her Butthole Over the Weekend
Wow-Visually impaired pensioners asking for audio version of kinky fifty shades of grey hair

Why-Mum gives all her 15 children the same name - Walter
A mum made the task of raising 15 children harder – by giving them the SAME name. Brazilian Erotides Brandao ­promised to name her first baby after husband Walter. But when Walterlucia was born, the proud father asked for all their children to be named after him.In all, the couple, from Paraiba, North East Brazil, had nine daughters and six sons: Walterlucia, Walterlivia, Walterlenia, Walterlonia, Walterlacia, Walterluzia, Walterluana, Walterangelina, Waltersilviana, Walteremanuel, Walterluis, Walteroliver, Waltermarcelo, Walterlicinio and Walterfernando. They also have 33 grandchildren who are all called – yep, you guessed it – Walter, after it was decided to continue the tradition.Erotides, 88, whose husband Walter died in 2003 aged 81, told Brazil’s Globo G1 website: “He asked to put his name on all of our children.“I didn’t know so many would come, but we never knew how to say no to each other.”
New-Mass skinny-dip at summer festival launches 'Secret Swimming' club
A naked woman shows some cheek as she plunges into a lake to join a mass skinny-dip at a summer festival. The swim at Cornbury Park in Oxfordshire was held to launch a club which will meet monthly in scenic locations.The venues will be kept secret until the last
moment and only released to members of the Secret Swimming community. The nude swim was also an attempt to break the record for the world’s largest skinny-dip. Talk about naked ambition. The new club is the brainchild of the creators of Secret Cinema.
Participants will be invited to swim in the wildest; most beautiful places.The launch was part of a weekend-long festival celebrating music, food and the countryside. Up to 10,000 people descended on West Oxfordshire for Wilderness, which also offered theatre, comedy, classes in fly fishing, horse riding and bushcraft, and rambles, history walks, swims and fun runs around the estate, owned by Lord and Lady Rotherwick.
LOL-Ottawa bureaucrat honoured for his terrible prose

OTTAWA - A systems analyst at Canada Revenue Agency has been honoured for his intentionally dreadful purple prose. Guy Foisy loves to write in his spare time. Not for publication usually, he just likes writing for himself, whatever happens to pop into his head. Here is Foisy's winning entry:
"William, his senses roused by a warm fetid breeze, hoped it was an early spring's equinoxal thaw causing rivers to swell like the blood-engorged gumlines of gingivitis, loosening winter's plaque, exposing decay, and allowing the seasonal pot-pouris of Mother Nature's morning breath to permeate the surrounding ether, but then he awoke to the unrelenting waves of his wife's halitosis."
  
What Happen-Tourist spotted on x-ray after falling asleep on conveyor belt?
A man drank to excess – when he accidentally checked himself in at a baggage drop after bedding down on an airport conveyor belt. The 36-year-old Norwegian was well over the 30kg luggage limit, sparking an alert at Rome’s Fiumicino Airport when an X-ray of him curled up asleep was spotted on a security scanner. He had turned up early for his flight, beer in hand, and the check-in desk was unattended. So the weary traveller hopped over the counter and settled down for a kip on the baggage belt. He fell fast asleep next to his bag and nobody noticed. When staff began checking in luggage for the Oslo flight at Terminal 3, he started to move with it, heading through the secure area towards the plane’s luggage hold. He had travelled 160ft before he was identified by the scanner, still dozing away. Fiumicino airport police were called to deal with him. But even then, officers had trouble waking the drunk from his deep slumber. An official said: “There’s usually an episode like this maybe once a year. “The man was taken to a hospital by cops, concerned about his exposure to X-rays. He was then reported to prosecutors for causing alarm at the airport. Last month, airport security staff in the United Arab Emirates was given a shock when they spotted a five-month-old baby hidden in luggage on a bag scanner.

Nice-Romantic flash mob wedding proposal leaves woman stunned (video)

The American, known only as Jack from Boston, surprised his girlfriend Teresa Elsey by planning a military-style operation before eventually popping the question. He arranged



for hundreds of strangers to approach her as they headed for an after-work date at the Institute of Contemporary Art earlier this month. As Ms Elsey became surrounded by a huge crowd of flower wielding well-wishers, the soon-to-be-married young man took the opportunity to slip away and change into a tuxedo.


Wow-Visually impaired pensioners asking for audio version of kinky Fifty shades of grey hair

Fifty shades of grey hair: Hundreds of short-sighted pensioners asking for audio version of kinky novel. A charity which provides audiobooks for the visually impaired has had to order in extra copies to cope with demand. Racy pensioners are bombarding a charity for copies of kinky bondage novel Fifty Shades of Grey they can listen to. Calibre Audio Library has received hundreds of calls about the “Mummy porn” trilogy, with most coming from women over 70. Bosses at the charity, which provides audiobooks for the visually impaired, have had to order in extra copies to cope with demand. Calibre’s Christine Ronaldson said: “As a library with 8,500 audiobooks covering over 60 categories, we have to respond to what our members want to read."Our decision to add this popular series reflects this.“We believe that people who are visually impaired should have the same access to books as sighted people."Members can choose not to receive X-rated books, but many others like a story with a bit of spice.”In the three Fifty Shades novels, which also include Darker and Freed, naive student Ana Steele gets involved in bondage games with billionaire ­Christian Grey. The books, written by British mum-of-two Erika Leonard under the pseudonym EL James, have sold millions of copies.

OMG-A Nice Lady from Florida Got a Tattoo on Her Butthole Over the Weekend

 Overheard in the dressing room of a sad Florida strip club last night…“Hey Mercedes…what did you do over the weekend? ”Oh nothing much, Lexus…got a tattoo on my butthole. That’s about it.”“OMG what was that like? ”It felt SO F*CKING GOOD…SO GOOD!”Butthole tattoos are the tramp stamps are the new anal bleaching, y’all. You heard it here first. Deuce-deuces.

You can see video NSFW here
 

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